Some people are so afraid to die, that they never begin to live…

At 4:30 this morning I drove a very dear friend of mine to the airport so she could fly home to her dying mother. It really got me thinking about death on so many levels.

When I was 24 I had my first heart surgery and when I woke up they told me I had flat lined for 20 seconds. So technically I was a goner for 20 whole seconds. Honestly my first feeling was that I was duped. I didn’t get a light at the end of the tunnel, or to float above my body, or to see my great grandma. All I got was a lousy printout of my heart stopping, some gross incisions and a promise of a second more successful surgery.

But while I sat in that hospital bed recovering, I realized how damn lucky I was at that moment. And I also realized how completely worthless my life had been up until that point. Sure I had passed some cool milestones, but all in all I felt that I hadn’t been true to myself and I hadn’t fought hard enough for the things that I wanted. Which led me not only to start fighting for the things I wanted to accomplish, but I also to start fighting to feel like what I was doing mattered.

And you know what? It was scary as hell! But after dying, you don’t have much to lose. And the main thing I realized is that nothing in life just happens to you. The only thing that you are going to get by sitting and waiting is fat. So I grabbed my life by its life-balls and I changed it completely. I graduated college, left a 5 year dead end relationship, packed everything I had in a uhaul, and moved to LA with $1000 to my name and no solid plan in site. But my goal was to find what truly made me happy. And here I am 5 years later and I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Now I am doing things with my life that I am very proud of. And I am working every day to put positive energy into the universe and to help other people that haven’t had the life punch that I had yet. And finally for once in my life I am blissfully, wholly, unapologetically happy. And all it took was 20 seconds with the big man upstairs.

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10 thoughts on “Some people are so afraid to die, that they never begin to live…

  1. Tammy Lee

    You are an awesome example of living life!. I had cancer in my 30′s I decided to live my life with happiness, excitement.and meaning. I do just that. Keep up being who you are!

    January 29, 2014 at 5:28 pm
  2. Thanks for sharing your personal journey with us. I’ve admired your work for a long time but now I have a whole new, expanded respect for you. Youre a true inspiration!

    January 29, 2014 at 5:45 pm
  3. Hot Wheels Hiedi

    I came up with a saying I’ve no idea how long ago…..”Appreciate the sunsets, but be grateful for the dawn.” , which basically means appreciate what you have because you never know when IT (Life) will be truly “over”.

    January 29, 2014 at 7:25 pm
  4. Death kissed you on your cheek and sent you on your way because without you this world simply isn’t good enough. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Even an old lady like me can learn something. Live long and happily, dear.

    January 30, 2014 at 2:17 am
  5. Tattooed Lady 72

    Beautiful & inspirational words xxx

    January 30, 2014 at 4:46 am
  6. Jessica Dodge

    This was incredibly fitting for where I’m at in life right now and it really helped me feel even more empowered in my decisions. Just thank you, this is very much so what I needed to hear right now

    January 30, 2014 at 6:01 am
  7. Kiera Ashling

    You are truly an inspiration. You selflessly put forth all of who you are, have been, and want to be in an amazing effort to show people they don’t have to hide, and expect nothing back. I think the world, and especially women, needs a role model who’s honest, upfront, and stands by their beliefs, as gracefully as you do. You put so much love and positive energy into the world, I’m so happy when I see it returned to you. You are amazing, and although I’ll always be myself, you make me strive to be a better version of myself. Thank you.

    January 30, 2014 at 12:41 pm
  8. Emily

    What an inspiration you are Cherry! This is so true, and we all need to enjoy our lives to the full.

    January 30, 2014 at 1:21 pm
  9. Meghan

    You’ve been an inspiration for many years to me. Your story and your words make me strive to be my best. If you only knew how many people you are touching by just being you!

    February 1, 2014 at 6:29 pm

    thank you for reminding us why life is so beautiful to live … we have crazy lives and we tend to forget the basics … our happiness!

    February 4, 2014 at 7:28 am

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